Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
