So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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