Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
