pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
