It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
