the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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