Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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