When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
