I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
