i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
