It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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