My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
