She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
