evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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