So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
