1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
