hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
