Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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