Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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