Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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