WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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