His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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