Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
