Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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