i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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