she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
jump out the window naked night went bad
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
