Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
