I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
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I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
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You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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