Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
