Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
