I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
