My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
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I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
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Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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