We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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