Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
