yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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