Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
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I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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