you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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