I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
