I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
