we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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