and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
