Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
