whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
