After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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