i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
