i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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