between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize