Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
