I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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