Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
