I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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