It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
