A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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