Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
