im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
