still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
