Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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