Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
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